Dead Fish in a Box

The chronicles of a suburban fishpimp trying to keep it rural.

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Location: United States

Friday, August 25, 2006


HOLY SMOKES!!! It’s been waaaaay to long since I’ve posted anything up here. A lot has happened in the past two weeks. I completed the 13th annual Beaver Lake Triathlon – barely – I had the words of Dean Wormer going through my head as, overweight and undertrained, I huffed my way through the 4.3 mile run: “Son, fat, dumb, and stupid is no way to go through life.” But I did it, and I got the t-shirt to prove it.

We’ve been cultivating a lot of produce – green beans, tomatoes, apples, tomatillos, zucchini, etc. Mrs. fishpimp has produced 3 apple pies and 5 crisps. We’ve been enjoying caprese salad 3 times a week, and the tomatoes haven’t even hit ther stride yet. Anyone seeking fresh tomatoes, apples, or squash should contact us immediately.

We’re also selling the Little Red Zipper, our 2000 Honda Civic – feel free to contact us about that also.

On the work front, I signed up the Patty’s Eggnest chain of restaurants, so that’s a nice win personally. I also talked with a buddy from the Fishhouse, seems like things are going well there. They’ve got a new GM who has solved many of the problems that frustrated me, and apparently Simon has mellowed significantly. So those of you lamenting the lack of Simonisms lately, it’s not my fault, he’s putting them out at a slower pace.

Conversely, I find myself using Simonisms more and more frequently on the job. What’s that about?

Thursday, August 10, 2006


I made a sale today. I sold a bunch of aprons to a Mexican bakery in Belligham completely in Spanish. Later I got the details for a new restaurant in Arlington from the "New American" cleaning up the construction in the parking lot, also without the use of the English language. Two weeks ago I sold a tortilla maker in Everett in a bi-lingual manner.

When I decided to take Spanish classes in 7th grade I told myself that I'd be more likely to use it later in life than I would German or French. Who knew that as a 12 year old pre-fishpimp I would make such a wise decision. As the Punkin' would say "I'm the Swami!" Orale!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Highlight of my Week

We have these "Sales Blitzes" from time to time when they take the entire sales staff and spend the day canvassing one rep's territory. This week we were in Tukwila; my partner and I were assigned the Tuk-Vegas strip. I told my him I was going to throw one hand of blackjack while he talked to the manager. I was dealt 17 with the dealer showing a 6, so I held. He was sitting on 14 and drew a 3. My public school math made me think I lost, but since the dealer left my chips on the table I played another hand. And drew a blackjack. It's too bad not all my cold calls end up with me $15 richer.