Dead Fish in a Box

The chronicles of a suburban fishpimp trying to keep it rural.

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Location: United States

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Copper River Update

The Punkin' has been busting my chops because I haven’t put up anything about this year’s Copper River salmon fishery. He tells me I’ve sold out; as if that’s any sort of a shock. Of course I’ve sold out! I sold out November 30th when I started the new job! Seriously.

So here’s the update: There was only a tiny amount of fish from the first opener, it came in, it went out, and it cost way too much. It’s the same story every year; the big difference this year is that I had absolutely zero stress from it.

Actually, I did have one stressful moment, but it was as a consumer rather than as a purveyor. Saturday I went to my local sub-par QFC (my rant against QFC is worth another 3 posts alone!) to buy some salmon. I wanted the least expensive fish they had – the kid was trying to talk me into the Copper River stuff “Do you actually care what it tastes like?”. Listen, punk-ass – don’t you tell me what kind of salmon I’ll like – I’ve been selling fish since (insert demeaning comment here). Back at the Fishhouse we used to joke that all one had to do to sell something in Seattle was to say it was from the Copper River – ‘I got some sweet Copper River chicken breasts here – only $17 per pound – how many cases you want?’. We’d joke about it but this kid actually did it! The check-out clerk rang up my pound-and-a-half of steelhead t $35! I told him I wanted cheap fish, had him pick cheap fish from the case, and wrap the cheap fish up for me, but he put the dang Copper River price tag on the package! QFC’s prices are bad enough, but this was over the top. It’s an outrage.

There you go, Punky. There’s your update. Shut up and have another Rock Star.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Damn. I've been avoiding for a while now - it seems the only time I heard about it previously was on the news about how the FBI caught child predators and Harris/Klebold wannabes. But now I find out that a lot of my old friends have been sucked into this subculture, and if I want to keep up with them I have to join the stinkin' site also.

I can't do that.

Ok, I already did, but I really shouldn't have. I'm a sociologist by training, and I have this fascination with learning about people through their websites. Myspace for me is serious sensory overload. I'm also pissed that some jerk stole my handle, so don't go looking for Fishpimp and expect to find me. Plus it's a little too personal for me personally, that is, as a person. I enjoy the anonymity that I have over here in bloggerland. Of course, I have no will power and will probably get sucked into the Myspace vortex anyway, but I'll continue to keep it rural here. Word.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Potty Humor

We rent these dust mats that have pro-safety slogans on them like 'slippery when wet', lift with your legs', and 'Don't pet flaming dogs.' However, I don't think this was the intended location for the mat pictured above.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

The Root of All Evil

Here is the first victim of the sawzall. I am living up to my UPS Logger degree.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Manhood Attained.

I have attained Full-Man-status; I finally bought a sawzall.

I am burly.