Dead Fish in a Box

The chronicles of a suburban fishpimp trying to keep it rural.

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Location: United States

Friday, June 30, 2006

Busy Busy

Amigos - I'm sorry I haven't put much up lately - it's summertime and I've been super-busy lately between demo-ing and reinstalling a patio and training for the Beaver Lake Triathlon I haven't been spending much time in front of the computer. In addition, my sales territory is being redistributed and I've been spending more time in Anacortes & Bellingham lately.

The good part is that they're both beautiful cities. The bad part is that the salt in my blood has come back to the surface; I've been thinking more and more about buying a boat. I called on a boat builder a week ago and I can't get my mind off this one

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


I just read that Nestle is going to buy Jenny Craig.

$600,000,000 is a lot of hush money.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Going to the Dogs Part II

Now soliciting captions.

Going to the Dogs Part I

I've mentioned that one thing I love about my job is the variety of businesses & people I call on. The other day I signed the largest Whatcom County's largest window-washing company. Obviously, there isn't a large demand for window washing as they had more Bichon Frisses than employees: 4 dogs, 3 workers.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Chuck Norris meet Al Gore

A buddy of mine was so impressed by the list of Chuck Norris facts that he did some research on another celebrity, Al Gore. Here are some of his findings:

Al Gore conceded the election in 2000 to punish us for not electing him

Al Gore knows the last digit of pi.

Al Gore doesn't type into a computer, Al Gore is Wifi.

Every morning, just to get focused, Al Gore simultaneously plays and wins
6000 games of Chess, 500 games of Risk, 725 games of Sorry, 45 games of
Backgammon and 6 games of Connect Four with challengers from all over the
globe. Al Gore has never been defeated.

Al Gore eats data and craps facts.

Al Gore has 9 senses.

Major League Baseball runs all of their stats through Al Gore.

Whatever you know, Al Gore knew it first.

Al Gore designed and built Hilary Clinton form the ground up when he was ten

years old.

Don't worry about the last six years. Al Gore built a time machine and he
can fix them whenever he pleases.

Al Gore prefers to levitate but only when you aren't watching. Al Gore
isn't cocky.

Al Gore knows every Scooby-Doo episode ever written by heart, even the
Scrappy-Doo ones.

Al Gore's fecal matter can hold between a terabyte and 300 terabytes
depending on what he ate the day before.

Cold Fusion? Al Gore will give it to you when Al Gore thinks you deserve

Al Gore ghost wrote most of Steely Dan's early albums.

Al Gore's house runs mostly off the excess electricity his brain generates.

The remainder runs his car.

Al Gore is the only one on the planet that extra terrestrials will bother
communicating too. They keep offering to take him away from all this but Al
just says, "Give them time."

Al Gore can turn lead into gold. He doesn't because he knows the economy is

unstable as it is. Al Gore respects the balance.

Al gore sees four minutes into the future and it hasn't been making him
happy lately. He will let you know if he sees anything terrible coming, but
will you listen?

Al Gore has an Elvish sword that glows blue when Karl Rove enters the room.

Al Gore claps on the 2 and the 4.

Al Gore has "F13-F18" keys on the top of his keyboard and knows how to use
everyone of them.

Al Gore served two tours of duty in Nam under assumed names so as to not
draw too much glory to himself.

When Al Gore goes fishing, fish just jump in the boat, believing that if Al
Gore is trying to catch them it must be for the greater good.

Al Gore's calculator has space for 2 million digits. That would come in
handy if he ever needed to use one.

Al Gore knows all the good back roads, not just of this country but on all
other continents.

Al Gore can re-position satellites with a thought. He frequently does this
to interfere with Bush's Cartoon Network reception.

Al Gore has memorized every Roll-a-dex of every office he has ever visited.

When you call information, information calls Al Gore.

Al Gore speaks Whale.

Al Gore once ran across the United States to create awareness for everything
all the time.

Al Gore's curve ball moves up and out.

Underneath Al Gore's right arm are 'tangent', 'sign', and 'cosign' buttons.
Don't press them. You won't like the answer.

Al Gore's pinky can solder. Complete with solder wire flax and hot, hot,

Al Gore was the drum tech for Emerson Lake and Palmer.

Al Gore can taste colors.

Al Gore built his own space vessel, (non rocket), headed into space, and
wrote "I love Tipper" on the dark side of the moon backwards. Then he
positioned a Giant mirror behind it to catch the suns light and reflected it
down onto the message. Al then Flew down to Earth took his wife by the hand
at a table he had hand crafted himself, repositioned his telescope and had
Tipper look through it. "Happy tenth anniversary honey." He said as he
served her some melon.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


One nice thing about this job is getting to make firneds in other industries. So far I've got the hook-ups with a carpet guy, an HVAC guy, an auto detailer, a banquet facility, a fence installer, a window guy, and a bunch of restaurants.

I just wish more of them were in Edmonds, rather than Arlington & Bellingham

Sunday, June 04, 2006

All's Well That Ends Well

It's been a pretty good weekend. We got a lot done around the house. Got to see a bunch of friends today, and this evening has provided an excellent end:

Dinner: home-made cherry-pie a la mode(with fresh local cherries)
Dessert: a robust Nicaraguan cigar & a cocktail.

And as I walked in the door after finishing my stogie I was informed that my in-laws, who are remodling their house in Tahoe, are giving us their old (4 years) 36" Sony Wega flat-screen T.V. - which is a big upgrade from the 26" trintron we're rocking now (which they gave us when they bought this one)

Nice. So I'm going to continue being positive and hope this run of good fortune continues. I'll keep you posted.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Positive Thinking

Traffic on Tuesday afternoon was dreadful and every shortcut I tried to take backfired on me. I was mentally writing my traffic tirade while sitting at red lights when I realized y'all probably don't want to read about how my entire day was ruined because it took me an extra 20 minutes to get home.

So I'm taking a different spin. Back in college my roommate and I designated our room in the fraternity a "negativity-free zone" No bitching allowed. It was great, people knew that we would not stand complaining in our little corner of the house and it turned into a rather cheerful place. I mentally recreated that atmosphere in my mind after I got home and it's been great. Every time I feel like complaining I just think about how petty my troubles are. Wednesday night I got chinese take out; my fortune cookie told me "youwill soon receive good news of a personal nature. Lo and behold, yesterday, at out big corporate meeting I won the big door prize which turned out to be a new surround-sound speaker system for the home theatre!

On top of that - Mrs. Fishpimp baked a big fresh cherrie pie last night. So I'm going to continue thinking positive and hope the dividends keep coming.