A buddy of mine was so impressed by the list of Chuck Norris facts that he did some research on another celebrity, Al Gore. Here are some of his findings:
Al Gore conceded the election in 2000 to punish us for not electing him
unanimously.
Al Gore knows the last digit of pi.
Al Gore doesn't type into a computer, Al Gore is Wifi.
Every morning, just to get focused, Al Gore simultaneously plays and wins
6000 games of Chess, 500 games of Risk, 725 games of Sorry, 45 games of
Backgammon and 6 games of Connect Four with challengers from all over the
globe. Al Gore has never been defeated.
Al Gore eats data and craps facts.
Al Gore has 9 senses.
Major League Baseball runs all of their stats through Al Gore.
Whatever you know, Al Gore knew it first.
Al Gore designed and built Hilary Clinton form the ground up when he was ten
years old.
Don't worry about the last six years. Al Gore built a time machine and he
can fix them whenever he pleases.
Al Gore prefers to levitate but only when you aren't watching. Al Gore
isn't cocky.
Al Gore knows every Scooby-Doo episode ever written by heart, even the
Scrappy-Doo ones.
Al Gore's fecal matter can hold between a terabyte and 300 terabytes
depending on what he ate the day before.
Cold Fusion? Al Gore will give it to you when Al Gore thinks you deserve
it.
Al Gore ghost wrote most of Steely Dan's early albums.
Al Gore's house runs mostly off the excess electricity his brain generates.
The remainder runs his car.
Al Gore is the only one on the planet that extra terrestrials will bother
communicating too. They keep offering to take him away from all this but Al
just says, "Give them time."
Al Gore can turn lead into gold. He doesn't because he knows the economy is
unstable as it is. Al Gore respects the balance.
Al gore sees four minutes into the future and it hasn't been making him
happy lately. He will let you know if he sees anything terrible coming, but
will you listen?
Al Gore has an Elvish sword that glows blue when Karl Rove enters the room.
Al Gore claps on the 2 and the 4.
Al Gore has "F13-F18" keys on the top of his keyboard and knows how to use
everyone of them.
Al Gore served two tours of duty in Nam under assumed names so as to not
draw too much glory to himself.
When Al Gore goes fishing, fish just jump in the boat, believing that if Al
Gore is trying to catch them it must be for the greater good.
Al Gore's calculator has space for 2 million digits. That would come in
handy if he ever needed to use one.
Al Gore knows all the good back roads, not just of this country but on all
other continents.
Al Gore can re-position satellites with a thought. He frequently does this
to interfere with Bush's Cartoon Network reception.
Al Gore has memorized every Roll-a-dex of every office he has ever visited.
When you call information, information calls Al Gore.
Al Gore speaks Whale.
Al Gore once ran across the United States to create awareness for everything
all the time.
Al Gore's curve ball moves up and out.
Underneath Al Gore's right arm are 'tangent', 'sign', and 'cosign' buttons.
Don't press them. You won't like the answer.
Al Gore's pinky can solder. Complete with solder wire flax and hot, hot,
heat.
Al Gore was the drum tech for Emerson Lake and Palmer.
Al Gore can taste colors.
Al Gore built his own space vessel, (non rocket), headed into space, and
wrote "I love Tipper" on the dark side of the moon backwards. Then he
positioned a Giant mirror behind it to catch the suns light and reflected it
down onto the message. Al then Flew down to Earth took his wife by the hand
at a table he had hand crafted himself, repositioned his telescope and had
Tipper look through it. "Happy tenth anniversary honey." He said as he
served her some melon.
