Dead Fish in a Box

The chronicles of a suburban fishpimp trying to keep it rural.

My Photo
Location: United States

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Copper River Update

The Punkin' has been busting my chops because I haven’t put up anything about this year’s Copper River salmon fishery. He tells me I’ve sold out; as if that’s any sort of a shock. Of course I’ve sold out! I sold out November 30th when I started the new job! Seriously.

So here’s the update: There was only a tiny amount of fish from the first opener, it came in, it went out, and it cost way too much. It’s the same story every year; the big difference this year is that I had absolutely zero stress from it.

Actually, I did have one stressful moment, but it was as a consumer rather than as a purveyor. Saturday I went to my local sub-par QFC (my rant against QFC is worth another 3 posts alone!) to buy some salmon. I wanted the least expensive fish they had – the kid was trying to talk me into the Copper River stuff “Do you actually care what it tastes like?”. Listen, punk-ass – don’t you tell me what kind of salmon I’ll like – I’ve been selling fish since (insert demeaning comment here). Back at the Fishhouse we used to joke that all one had to do to sell something in Seattle was to say it was from the Copper River – ‘I got some sweet Copper River chicken breasts here – only $17 per pound – how many cases you want?’. We’d joke about it but this kid actually did it! The check-out clerk rang up my pound-and-a-half of steelhead t $35! I told him I wanted cheap fish, had him pick cheap fish from the case, and wrap the cheap fish up for me, but he put the dang Copper River price tag on the package! QFC’s prices are bad enough, but this was over the top. It’s an outrage.

There you go, Punky. There’s your update. Shut up and have another Rock Star.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have Sold Out I am right. But if you are not going to have a copper river update, and you are the Fish Pimp, you need to change the name to something like I said before to the "Diaper Genie", or somthing catchy like that....... Good Day to you Sir!

9:44 AM  
Blogger JFlaming said...

It always amuses me when people think I'll be a salmon connoisseur because I'm from Alaska. The reality of most of the Alaskans I know (not counting Anchorage) is that they will eat damn near any fish that's not farmed. A lot of people there make fun of the Copper River thing. One of my friends runs a net in the Tanana River and he eats salmon that have run inland almost a thousand miles... they're not pretty. Honestly, the best salmon in the world in my opinion is ocean silver from Valdez, but I'll eat any fish I've caught for free over any fish I have to buy, period. I never buy salmon in restaurants. I worked on a project at the university once with a guy who had helped devise the marketing scheme for copper river reds... now they are trying to do the same thing with Yukon Kings. I think Washington should get a few million dollars to promote Duwamish Salmon...

Now crab, that's a different thing. I've never seen an Alaskan eat Tanner crab, no matter what you label it. One of the chain seafood restaurants came in and ran a special on Alaska Snow Crab. Once they started running their ads on TV I heard people all the time asking what the f*&k a snow crab was...

It seems like Seattle just has a crazy thing about getting the "best" of everything. I've never seen a place as fascinated with that. A guy was trying to sell me a shovel at the store the other day by telling me they were imported Finnish designed shovels, you could tell by the orange handle etc etc. Dude, it's a friggin' shovel. It was a good shovel, but for the same price I bought a shovel, a hoe, two rakes and a trowel. I've used lots of shovels in my life. I'm all for buying quality, but that is just stupid.

11:43 AM  
Blogger Fishpimp said...

Dude, you're from Wyoming!

Fishpimp's favorite Salmon: Spring-run Columbia River Chinook.

8:40 PM  
Blogger JFlaming said...

You talkin' to me? I lived in the following states:
Kansas 7 years
Wyoming 7 years
Montana 4 years
Alaska 14 years
Washington ~1 year

I don't know where the hell I'm from, but Alaska tops the residency list, so that's what I go with.

9:59 PM  
Blogger Humbaba said...

Personally, I have a fondness for spawned-out mealy Puget Sound Pinks. Not quite the marketing cachet of Copper River, I'll admit.

Oh, and they're not even fit for dogfood.

Ok, scratch that, and give me a quinault steelhead instead.

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell me that guy isn't in sales!

9:43 AM  
Blogger Fishpimp said...

His name is Peter Redmayne.

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


8:57 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home