The word must be out in window-sales circles; don’t call the Fishpimps they'll chew you up and spit you out. Unfortunately, the 411 hasn’t hit the college campuses yet. I got blindsided twice last night, and lost both encounters.

First, a kid from a college painter company banged on my door and offered to do a free estimate on painting this shack I’m renovating. It needs paint bad, real bad; but I don’t know if it’s worth it for me to paint it myself. So at least the kid provided an opportunity to see where the market is. In return I provided him some sales advice – like shave and don’t wear a hat while making sales calls – it’s all about perception.

Second, the UPS Annual Fund called up and got me post-evening-cocktail. I’m sure most colleges have these programs, but this one is particularly notorious in Logger-land, both for students and alumni. It’s a work-study job for the kids – they call the alumni and beg for money. It’s not fun, but it’s good preparation for the work world. They have an uncanny ability to track us (Mrs. Fishpimp is a Logger also) down no matter how often we move.

I like talking to the kids, telemarketing isn’t easy, ad rarely fun, so I try to make it a pleasant conversation. Unlike my buddy Elwood who made one guy sing “I’m a little teapot” to the whole call-center before he’d give any money. They tell you all about what’s going on around campus; which is when I complain about them throwing up buildings in the middle of the unofficial Frisbee golf course, bastards. But when it comes to the money they go right for the guilt card:

“You gave $35 last year, why don’t you do $45 this year?”
-Because I’ve got two mortgages now, that’s why. How about I give you $25 and I don’t punch you in the neck?
“But we’ve got a benefactor who’s matching every donation dollar-for-dollar up to $200 per person.”
-How about you call back and ask my wife to match my donation dollr-for-dollar, that’ll make it $50 and you'll be in Fat City.

And they’re getting wise to my tactics too:

- I’ll give you $25, just send me an envelope (which I’ll conveniently misplace)
“You know, it’s a lot easier and less expensive if we can take a credit card over the phone…”

Busted. Dang. Well, sometimes you eat the bear…