Dead Fish in a Box

The chronicles of a suburban fishpimp trying to keep it rural.

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Location: United States

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Problem Solver

One of my best friends is an engineer. When asked about his trade he often says “I’m an engineer; I solve problems” I took that on as my personal mantra yesterday. Between the hurricane, government quotas, Somolian pirates, and the Labor Day holiday we had all kind of trouble yesterday. But I didn’t let that slow me down, no sir! Out of fresh catfish? Hey, I’ve got some frozen stuff that’ll fill in until Mississippi gets the gas tank filled. No rockfish? Don’t let the filled quota ruin your day! Have some smelt! They smelt in your mouth, not in your hand! Pirates holding your tunamen hostage? Try some wholesome Ono from Costa Rica! Down there they call is wahoo. Yessir, you heard me right! WAHOO!!!! The trucker carrying the 12,000 Lbs of halibut is taking the day off? No problemo, hand me the keys, I’ll drive to the airport and pick it up myself, just let me finish my calls and I’ll be on my way! Don’t worry if there’s so much halibut we can’t shut the truck door, we’ll just lock the lift gate in place – it’ll be just fine.

It didn’t stop there – when I got home I found that we were out of lean ground beef for my diet-plan dinner. No sweat, instead of a extra-lean 6 oz patty we’ll have these ½ Lb., 750 calorie Kobe beef patties – Dee-licious!

I am a Fishpimp; I solve problems.


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