Dead Fish in a Box

The chronicles of a suburban fishpimp trying to keep it rural.

My Photo
Location: United States

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


I heard an ad for a local restaurant today. They’re doing a strawberry promotion stating that they get all their wild strawberries from a local farm. Can you imagine that statement transposed into the fish business? ‘We get all our wild fish from the farm’ – yeah, that would fly. I don’t know about produce, but in this industry ‘farmed’ and ‘wild’ are as mutually exclusive as you can get.
The NY Times ran an expose a few months back about farmed salmon being sold as wild in New York markets. They called around in early March, when fresh, wild salmon is very scarce; 23 out of 25 stores claimed they had it. So they went out and bought samples and send it off to a lab in NC for chemical identification. 6 out of 7 stores’ “wild” salmon had astaxanthin in their flesh – the synthetic carotenoid used to impart an orange hue to the meat in farmed salmon. When confronted with the findings the reactions ranged from “The kid must have grabbed it from the wrong pile in back” to ”I know you’re looking at the label on the box that says ‘farm raised’ but believe me, don’t pay any attention to that label!’” But my favorite was this gem:

“Our salmon is from Canada. All wild salmon in Canada is farm raised.”

It sounds like an incorrect answer on a multiple-choice test.

Which of the following statements is false:

A) Salmon are farm raised in Canada.
B) Salmon are caught wild in Canada.
C) Wild salmon is not farm raised.
D) All wild salmon in Canada is farm raised.
E) Canada should be annexed and nicknamed “The Maple Leaf State”.

What a bunch of jerks. You’d think that one could carve out an honest, respectable living pimping the fish, but these guys are making us all look bad. It reminds me of a lawyer joke that could just as easily be adapted to any group one wants to deride:

This guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, and says loudly to no one in particular: “All Fishpimps are jerks!”
“I resent that!” the man at the end of the bar emphatically states.
“Why? You a Fishpimp?” the instigator shot back, looking for a fight.
“No sir, I am a Jerk!”


Post a Comment

<< Home