My Idols

I got hauled into the boss’s office today. It seems that my Fishpimp fashion sense needs a little tweaking; it was brought to my attention that there is a difference between khakis and tan slacks, and today’s trouser selection was unacceptable. It was a little embarrassing but no big deal; we ended up having a nice chat about tie theory, office psychology, and upward mobility in the company. She told me that all the books say to dress ‘two positions above where you are now’. She also suggested that I model my behavior after those whose shoes I aspire to fill.

With that fresh in my mind I went back to my desk and walked into a transaction between a sales rep and the Assistant General Manager. The AGM had purchased a bass amp from the rep. After throwing the cash down on the desk he implied that he had been ripped off through the use of a sodomy metaphor, emphasizing his point by turning around and grabbing his ankles.

Seconds later the General Manager walked in with a rubber band on his finger, smirked, and without saying anything, yanked it back and shot the AGM in the crotch.

Somehow, I don’t think that’s what my manager had in mind.