Dead Fish in a Box

The chronicles of a suburban fishpimp trying to keep it rural.

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Location: United States

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

La Navidad Non Sequitor

Buenos Dias, amigos! I hope all y’all had a lovely weekend. The Fishpimps celebrated Christmas with a lovely dinner of smoked duck followed by the annual haranguing my father into going to church with us. We used to joke that Mom went to the Presbyterian church, and dad worshiped to Our Lady of Montlake at Husky Stadium. Well, he got a special treat this year when Sonny Sixkiller turned around and barked ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS!’ at us. Apparently, the Sixkiller family did the same thing to him; they were all seated in the pew in front of us.

If you’ve spent any time in Seattle I’m sure you’ve noticed that it tends to lean to the left, politically speaking. It’s something I grew up with and don’t usually notice, but my wife does. She tells me that one of the local radio stations put a holiday promo together with all the DJ’s offering Christmas-alternative salutations to the listeners – things like “Have a Krazy Kwanzaa” and “Happy Hanukah!”, but one guy blurted out “Have a Rad Ramadan”. I’m guessing it wasn’t offered in sincerity, rather as a shot at the establishment (which, btw, isn’t very established in Seattle), because Ramadan was back in September this year (it’s based on the Lunar calendar). I’m all for parody, but if you’re going to poke fun at least get your facts straight. Dork.

In other news, we’re dog-sitting for Mrs. Fishpimp’s boss. It’s fine, we certainly owe him for helping take care of ‘Little T’ every time his mamma runs off in Africa, but I think we might have to change how we account for this from ‘days of care’ to ‘pounds cared for’ – we’ve increased our dog-mass for the week by 600%. Rosie and Zelda are the bossman’s two Bernese Mountain Dogs. People love this breed, but I’m not sure why; they are the biggest, laziest, and most stubborn dogs I’ve ever cared for. Sure they’re sweet, until you have to pull 120 Lbs. of them into the kitchen for the night when they don’t want to leave the living room! It reminds me of that joke ‘where does an 800 Lb. canary sit?? – Anywhere he wants!’ Where does a big-ass Bernese Mountain Dog sleep?...

In the kitchen! I just hope I don’t throw out my back hauling them in there!


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