The Norwegian
There’s a character I’d like to tell y’all about here at the Fishhouse. We’ll call him “the Norwegian”. He’s 32, single with no prospects, and works 7 days a week. He’s also one of the most stoic people on the planet – very Scandinavian. It has been said about him by many people that it’s easier to have a conversation with a brick wall. He seems to be about 5 to 10 seconds behind in any conversation he may be in. At times it can be aggravating, but more often than not it’s incredibly entertaining.
He’s also rather quirky. For example: he’s got incredibly thick skin, you can rip him all you want, he doesn’t care, but say anything about his mom and he’ll fly into a furious rage - also entertaining. Another example: he’ll eat anything. If he wasn’t so unemotional he’d make a great contestant on Fear Factor. It must come from all the lutefisk he ate as a child. Here’s a selected list of things we’ve seen him eat here: a 12 inch oyster, 2 whole baby flounders (aprox 3” each) we found in the stomach of a 100 Lb. halibut, a freakin’ huge spider, and a 9-shot grande mocha. The mocha episode was particularly humorous because he drank the entire cup before we told him it had 9 shots. In an effort to frustrate us he replied: “Dude, I’m gonna be, like, so stoic, man.” I guess we shouldn’t have been surprised.
And speaking of espresso, he’s got some strange theories about the coffee business as you can see from this proclamation he issued last week regarding the women who work at one of the local caffeine shacks:
“Dude – they are aliens! I saw this one barista, and her eyes blinked, like, sideways, and I started thinking about it. You think about it, man. It would be, like, the perfect plan! Aliens come down in their little flying-saucer espresso stands dressed up as hot chicks. We're doomed, dude! Doomed!”
Did I mention he’s got a voice deeper than Barry White?
There’s a character I’d like to tell y’all about here at the Fishhouse. We’ll call him “the Norwegian”. He’s 32, single with no prospects, and works 7 days a week. He’s also one of the most stoic people on the planet – very Scandinavian. It has been said about him by many people that it’s easier to have a conversation with a brick wall. He seems to be about 5 to 10 seconds behind in any conversation he may be in. At times it can be aggravating, but more often than not it’s incredibly entertaining.
He’s also rather quirky. For example: he’s got incredibly thick skin, you can rip him all you want, he doesn’t care, but say anything about his mom and he’ll fly into a furious rage - also entertaining. Another example: he’ll eat anything. If he wasn’t so unemotional he’d make a great contestant on Fear Factor. It must come from all the lutefisk he ate as a child. Here’s a selected list of things we’ve seen him eat here: a 12 inch oyster, 2 whole baby flounders (aprox 3” each) we found in the stomach of a 100 Lb. halibut, a freakin’ huge spider, and a 9-shot grande mocha. The mocha episode was particularly humorous because he drank the entire cup before we told him it had 9 shots. In an effort to frustrate us he replied: “Dude, I’m gonna be, like, so stoic, man.” I guess we shouldn’t have been surprised.
And speaking of espresso, he’s got some strange theories about the coffee business as you can see from this proclamation he issued last week regarding the women who work at one of the local caffeine shacks:
“Dude – they are aliens! I saw this one barista, and her eyes blinked, like, sideways, and I started thinking about it. You think about it, man. It would be, like, the perfect plan! Aliens come down in their little flying-saucer espresso stands dressed up as hot chicks. We're doomed, dude! Doomed!”
Did I mention he’s got a voice deeper than Barry White?
posted by Fishpimp | 11:34 AM
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