Dead Fish in a Box

The chronicles of a suburban fishpimp trying to keep it rural.

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Location: United States

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Special Orders.

I get some weird requests sometimes. We pander to this specialty crowd, most of whom are second-rate chefs trying to make a name for themselves. But we do sell some weird stuff here - Sea Urchin roe, Monkfish livers, Salmon cheeks, Salted Herring fillets from Norway. One can even buy just the first joint of the largest legs of a King or Dungeness crab- we even gave them special names - Merus Sections (king) and Frylegs (Dungeness). There was even a time when we sold Pork fat & Bull testicles.

But then we get some requests that are so bizarre even the saltiest Fishpimp is caused to chortle. We get people who only want female lobsters with their roe (eggs) still attached to the underbelly (which are illegal to harvest in the USA). We get people who want Alaskan Periwinkles or San Francisco Bay Gooseneck Barnacles. Then there’s the whole Cod byproduct thing. Most folk are happy with the delicious & firm white-meat fillets, but then there are the wackos who want Cod tongues, or Cod livers, or even Cod sperm sacks - I guess they're a delicacy in Japan. I guess most of these things are delicacies in Japan. Listen, I think the Japanese get most things right - hell, I even drive one of their cars, but seriously, Cod sperm?!

I bring this all up because I got another weird one today - a guy who wants 3 whole Wolf Eels. Have you ever seen one of these things? Man, they're ugly. I can't imagine they eat particularly well, and I really don't want to imagine what he wants them for. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's unnatural, and I want no part of it. Sick bastard!
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